How to use the counselling for individual or marriage
Counselling, for many people, is a mysterious process used as a last resort when some crisis hits such as death, job loss, infidelity, divorce or depression strike. Popular TV shows and magazines seem to make counselling all about getting simple words of wisdom or advice to very complex issues. Counselling is much more.
The whole premise behind counselling is to help people choose more effectively in their life and relationships in order to achieve happiness, as defined by that person or couple. Counselling is more than awareness, though this is the first step. Awareness alone doesn’t bring about change if you don’t know what to do with the awareness or what better choices you can make. Counselling helps clients learn effective skills to deal with their new awareness and do something about it. Choosing differently can be nearly impossible if you are not aware there are alternative choices to what you are currently doing or wanting.
Our counsellor has alternatives for people stuck facing problems that seem to have no solutions! Counsellor gives clients new ways to look at the same old problem. How powerful is that! This ability cuts across a wide variety of issues.
Imagine a reality where you are not doomed by early childhood trauma or past mistakes or a history of nasty fights in your marriage. Instead imagine the possibility to learn to choose more effectively in order to get what you want. This is what our counsellors do.
What is the client’s role
Clients play a huge role in the outcome of their own therapy. Counselling is a partnership or a consultancy. The therapist works with you, not on you. You need to want to get better and our therapist will help with you HOW you get better. If you are not sure you want to get better, the therapist can help you evaluate staying the same or not making different choices.
It's best to think of counselling like a technology .To maximize this technology clients will need to decide if they want to invest their time, effort and as well as their money in order to get all the benefits.
In order to bring about positive change, a client will become of aware of their own behaviors, thoughts and choices with the counsellor’s help. Counselling may not always be comfortable, as with any change, but you do not go it alone, you have your therapist assisting you.
What Counselling Is NOT
In couple counselling, counsellors are not referees to determine winners in fights. Nor are they judges of behavior or morality. Counsellor may help you become aware of this ineffective pattern of fighting and help you to decide if you want to keep doing it this way or learn or a more effective way to manage conflict.. A counsellor can help you become more effective in your fights so you don’t need a referee.
In individual counselling, the counsellor is not there to pass judgment or determine what is right or wrong for the individual. Instead, the therapist helps the client clarify what they want and how to effectively get it. The therapist helps the client to see more choices that they didn’t know about and get to tools to live a more happy and productive life.
Lastly, counselling is not a punishment. Often people are sent to counselling as a punishment for some choice or behavioral miss-step. How is learning to be more effective, get more choices in life and learn new skills a punishment? Learning how to do happiness is a gift we get from counselling.
Learn more about the Approach in: No Problem Talk Here!