Hope is both wonderful and placating like a band-Aid. We need hope to believe things can be better and to propel us forward during dark periods in our life. However, hope without actionable behaviors, can become like a Band-Aid covering up infection and avoids asking, “Is what I’m doing actually working and do I know what to do to make things work?”
Life often does not offer us second chances; do you really want to leave your fate in the hands of hope?
Relying on hope to fix a problem marriage, improve your parenting skills, address the anxiety or depression in your life is risky. People loose valuable time to make effective change waiting and hoping something different will result from their continued course of actionin their marriage or their individual life.
Often, by using hope, a person may actually be making a situation worse and miss the opportunity to affect positive change on their life or their relationships. But like many things, addressing the problem earlier can mean less effort to change, faster improvement and overall better quality of life sooner as opposed to later.
People resist change, we don’t like it and so “hoping” we don’t need to change but believing that magically our methods will work to change our partner’s behavior or life situation becomes purposeful, but ineffective. Professional counselling can help people identify and implement more effective behaviors so they can get what they want without all the energy expended on ineffective behaviors.
Summer is drawing upon us and many people rationalize to themselves that they will deal with life issues or marital problems later because they are too busy with kids, vacations etc. But ask yourself if your life or relationship really has the luxury of time to wait. Often there are no second chances.
Professional Individual Counselling or marriage counselling assists people in clarifying what they want and then helping people to put effective behaviors in place to get those desired outcomes. Hoping has no behaviors behind it and results in nothing. So hope is great but you need actionable behaviors that you can do to get what you want. Our professinally trained expat counsellor can help you get what you’ve always hoped for, a better marriage, a happier life and great parenting skills.
Our Professional expat counsellor Tammy M. Fontana, MS. NCC, CTRT, completed level 2 Gottman’s Couple Method has over 10,000 hours of client experience. She has specialized training in relationship, attachment, trauma and neurosociences to help you effective positive change in your life. She has specialized experience in dealing with infidelity in relationships. Contact her to find out how she can help you.