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Talking to your Kids about Porn

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Nothing makes parents more squeamish than thinking about talking to their kids about sex. Ideally parents should be talking to their child early about sex starting with calling body parts, including sexual organs, by their proper name.

Now imagine you need to talk to your kids about porn. Porn is everywhere, and kids are going to encounter it—intentionally, or accidentally, or through their friends. It isn’t ideal that kids consume porn, but if they do, they need adult guidance.

Clearly, you don’t want the first conversation you have with your kid about sex to be about porn.

Therefore, talk to your kid about sex NOW.  With young children, sex talks involve calling body parts by their correct anatomical name.  Getting books about the body can help you and start get both of you talking. These are good body parts and you want to convey that.

The more experience you and child have, even if it is really awkward, the easier it’ll be to discuss porn.  As therapist I have many parents calling me concerned when they learn their child has found porn websites and has been viewing porn. Working preemptively about porn is a parent’s best strategy. You want your child coming to you not their friends and definitely not porn for information about sex. ;

Dr. Marty Klein, US Licensed Sex Therapist and Marriage counsellor gives parents guidelines how to handle talking to kids about porn.

* It’s not real—it’s a bunch of professional actors and actresses who follow a written script and play characters, just like in other movies.

* Porn is not a documentary. It has a lot of editing and it is designed to thrill not educate.

* Porn doesn’t portray sex the way it really is. It leaves out a lot of what most people like about sex—such as emotions, laughing, talking, and feeling close. Instead, they mostly show bodies rubbing against bodies, which is sex without most of its real-world context.

* Porn is like a video game—it isn’t designed to be real, it’s designed to entertain. No one designing a video game says, “people can’t fly or shoot bullets out of their fingers, so we can’t put that into the game we’re creating.” So just like you watch a video game and you know it isn’t real, if you watch porn you need to keep the same thing in mind—it isn’t real.

* Porn features unusual bodies doing unusual things. Your body doesn’t, and probably never will, look like the bodies in porn. That’s really OK. And your body may never do some or most of the things you see in porn. That’s OK, too.

If you need help or guidance your mental health counsellor or psychologist is a great place to get accurate information. Contact us to help you with this or other parenting issues at 90307239

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