Stop fighting – start talking

Stop fighting – start talking

Are you fighting more then you are talking in your relationship? Do you wish that you could have a conversation that didn’t end in a huge fight that leaves you feeling more disconnected and hopeless? Is the desire to talk about common, everyday things calmly and in a productive way a goal that you have? Do you feel that you have communication problems? Do you want to improve your communication and your relationshp?

All In The Family Counselling Center Pte. Ltd helps couples improve their communication. Many couples are struggling with unresolved repetitive fights that result in big conflict. The ability to have effective communication requires the understanding of a few things many people don’t think about in communication. All In The Family Counselling Centre Pte Ltd helps people address 3 important components of communication that many people don’t learn the skills on.

1. Conflict is not always logical. In fact, conflict is emotional. All conversations produce strong emotions in us, especially when our partner does not think, feel or perceive issues the same way we do. Too often couples get stuck in trying to change how their partner feels or thinks about something. This can result in huge emotional battles in which we start to attack the person and get very personal.

2. The second big problem with communication is not knowing how to understand the difference between a feeling and a fact. Too often couples have not learnt how to take responsibility for their feelings. They may feel their partner is ignoring them, they may feel their partner doesn’t like them, they may feel their partner doesn’t care about them, and rather than knowing that this is a feeling, they express it as an attacking fact – ”You don’t care!”, ”You don’t love me!”, ”You are not interested!”. They translate what are actually feelings, into facts and then this becomes the basis from which they are trying to have a fight.

These ways of not understanding the difference between a feeling and a fact produce huge conflict and ugly fights that are very difficult to resolve.

3. The third thing that couples need to learn about is how to deal with differences. Many people think that marriage causes people to get along, or causes people to be effective, or that if we really love one another we are going to think and want the same thing. The reality is, marriage and intimacy require us to learn how to deal with our differences and to learn that some situations don’t have a solution in which we both could be happy. So we have to learn how to resolve our differences in a new way.

If you are somebody who would like to stop fighting and start talking, therapy can help you with our therapist Tammy Fontana, MS, NCC, CTRT.

Therapy is a process in which people learn how to take responsibility for their feelings, identify the difference between a feeling and a fact, develop effective problem solving skills, self-reflection, introspection in order to be able to figure out what they want, what part of it is their responsibility and how to effectively communicate and negotiate that with their partner.

All In The Family Counselling has been providing therapy for over a decade. We are one of the oldest agencies in Singapore. Tammy Fontana, the director, is a clinically trained sex therapist, one of the only in Singapore. We can help you with issues of anxiety, depression, sexual intimacy and other relational and personal issues. We are experienced in dealing with difficult cases.

We can provide you assistance in all of your individual and relationship help. To find out how we can help you, contact us at +65 9030 7239.

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