Our Pre-Marriage Counsellor
Tammy Fontana
M.S., NCC, CTRT, USA Sex Therapist, Hypnotherapist
Being a seasoned therapist in Singapore, I offer years of experience working with both expatriate and Singaporean communities. Having earned an M.S. in Mental Health Counseling from the renowned Capella University, USA, I offer my expertise in relationship and pre-marriage counselling. My extensive training in sex therapy from the Advanced Mental Health Training Institute (AMHTI) allows me to help individuals and couples tackle intimacy concerns with care and research-backed approaches.
In addition to being a certified Choice Theory Reality Therapist (CTRT), I have also trained in the Gottman Method Couples Counselling, an approach that helps couples build stronger, healthier relationships. My commitment to ongoing education ensures that my clients benefit from the therapeutic practices that can address their unique needs.
If you’re seeking guidance in fostering fulfilling relationships, I offer both in-office and online therapy sessions in Singapore, making it easier for you to access professional support in a way that suits your needs. I am available for appointments throughout the week and look forward to working with you on your journey to emotional well-being and relationship fulfilment.
Is Pre-Marriage Counselling Compulsory in Singapore?
While pre-marriage counselling is not compulsory, it is still encouraged as it could help build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage. Research found that couples who had completed some form of premarital counselling had a 30% increase in marital satisfaction compared to those who had not undergone such counselling.
The journey to marriage involves more than just planning a wedding—it requires emotional readiness, open communication, and alignment on key life decisions. And given the increasing challenges in relationships today, turning to pre-marriage counselling can have its benefits. By scheduling a counselling session at All in the Family Counselling with your soon-to-be spouse, we can work together to address potential conflicts, improve understanding, and develop essential skills for a healthy partnership. That way, you and your partner can navigate married life with confidence and mutual understanding.
Issues Addressed in Pre-Wedding Counselling Session
At its core, pre-marriage counselling isn’t just about airing grievances or ticking boxes on a compatibility checklist. It’s about ensuring that a couple possesses mutual understanding, respect, and preparedness for the journey ahead. This not only equips couples with solutions for immediate concerns but also with the skills to navigate the evolving challenges of married life.
To open important conversations before the marriage, these topics will be discussed during pre-wedding counselling workshops:
1. Financial Harmony
Beyond budgeting, you and your partner should know about each other’s financial aspirations, fears, and philosophies about money. During our pre-marriage counselling sessions together, we will tackle topics such as spending habits, saving goals, debt management, and more to ensure that you are aligned when it comes to financial planning.
2. Roles & Responsibilities
Household roles and responsibilities can often become a point of tension if expectations are not clearly set from the beginning. That’s why we discuss this from the get-go during pre-wedding counselling sessions. It’s important to set expectations for household duties, independence and shared commitments to create a balanced partnership.
3. Sex & Intimacy
A fulfilling emotional and physical connection is crucial in any marriage. However, discussing intimacy, expectations, and desires can be challenging for many couples. As such, working with a pre-marriage counsellor can help you and your partner learn how to openly express your needs, concerns, and boundaries regarding sex and emotional intimacy.
4. Personal Values & Beliefs
It is natural for couples to have different backgrounds, beliefs, and expectations, but if not addressed early, these differences can lead to misunderstandings and conflict later on. Pre-marriage counselling provides a neutral space to openly discuss these differences in values, priorities, and long-term goals. By exploring these areas before tying the knot, you and your partner can work through potential sources of tension and establish a mutual understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Benefits of Pre-Marriage Counselling
Engaging in pre-marriage counselling isn’t just about addressing potential conflicts—it’s about strengthening the foundation of a lifelong partnership. These sessions allow you and your future spouse to gain valuable insights to navigate your future together with confidence and clarity.
1. Productive Communication with Partner
Pre-marriage counselling can help you communicate productively with your partner through open discussions and active listening. It also helps you learn strategies on how to communicate with empathy and respect so you and your partner are less likely to misinterpret each other’s intentions or emotions. This promotes emotional intimacy, ensuring that both individuals feel heard, valued, and understood in their relationship.
2. Strengthens Emotional Connection
In pre-marriage counselling, you and your partner can engage in in-depth discussions that help them understand each other’s needs, fears, and aspirations. These discussions encourage emotional vulnerability and help deepen the bond between the couple.
3. Prepares for Major Life Decisions
Marriage involves numerous practical considerations that can impact both partners’ lives. From financial planning and career aspirations to decisions about children and living arrangements, there are many aspects that require alignment. With pre-wedding counselling, you both have the opportunity to openly discuss these major life decisions so that you can identify common goals and set clear expectations for the future. Addressing these topics beforehand ensures that both partners are on the same page and prepared to make important decisions together.
FAQs About Pre-Marriage Counselling
1. What is the difference between marital and premarital counselling?
Marriage counselling typically aims to mend or rejuvenate existing relationships. On the other hand, pre-marriage counselling helps unwed couples who are in search of guidance gain valuable insights and acquire tools that will prepare them better for their forthcoming marital journey.
2. What questions do premarital counsellors ask?
To set the stage for a meaningful exploration of your relationship, we typically begin pre-marriage counselling sessions with a series of questions. This is designed to uncover the depths of your partnership and individual expectations, including:
- Why are you getting married?
- Why were you attracted to each other?
- What issues do you disagree about?
- How will you manage your finances together?
- How will we divide chores?
- Do you or do you not want children, and if yes, how many?
- Where will you live?
- Should you do everything together?
- What is your sexual compatibility?
- What are your views on cheating?
This non-exhaustive list of questions aims to facilitate deep and meaningful discussions, ensuring couples enter marriage with a mutual understanding and aligned expectations.
3. Is it a norm to attend pre-marriage counselling in Singapore?
In Singapore, attending pre-marriage counselling has become increasingly accepted and encouraged among couples planning to marry. While not mandatory for all, it’s recognised as a beneficial step towards building a strong foundation for marriage. This shift towards normalisation stems from a growing awareness of the complexities of marital life and the challenges couples may face. Societal acceptance has grown as couples share positive experiences and outcomes from these sessions, highlighting the value of preparing for marriage beyond the wedding day.
4. Are all premarital counselling related to religion?
Not all pre-marriage counselling sessions are related to religion. While many religious organisations offer pre-wedding counselling as part of their matrimonial services, focusing on principles and values specific to their faith, there are also secular options available. These non-religious counselling services focus on universal aspects of marriage, such as communication, conflict resolution, financial planning, and intimacy, without tying the guidance to religious beliefs. Couples can choose the type of counselling that best aligns with their preferences and needs, whether it’s through a religious institution or a secular agency.
5. How long should I and my partner attend premarital counselling?
The duration of pre-marriage counselling can vary widely depending on the couple’s specific needs, the format of the counselling programme, and the depth of issues to be addressed. Typically, sessions can range from a few weeks to several months. Some counsellors or programmes offer structured sessions spread over a set number of weeks, while others may recommend a more flexible timeline, adjusting the duration based on the couple’s progress and the complexity of the discussions.
A common approach is a series of sessions (e.g., 5-10) scheduled weekly or bi-weekly, providing ample time for couples to explore various aspects of their relationship, practise new skills, and reflect on their learnings. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that couples feel prepared and confident in their relationship before entering into marriage, regardless of the exact timeframe.
Read Our Articles
Want to learn more about pre-marriage counselling? Read these additional resources:
- Right Reasons to Marry
- Is Pre-Marriage Counselling a Good Idea?
- Conscious Communication: Part 1 of 3
- Concepts of Marriage: Part 2 of 3
- Creating Us in Marriage: Part 3 of 3
Find Your Therapist in Singapore
We can provide therapy 7 days a week with clients at all times. Online and in-person sessions are available.
- Address: 60 Paya Lebar Road, #11-06 Paya Lebar Square Singapore 409051
- Telephone: +65 9030 7239
