Sexual intimacy is an important part of any long-term committed relationship, whether that is marriage or long-term committed relationship. It is often a requirement by the other person to have some type of sexual intimacy as a part of the relationship. Often one person can struggle with aspects of sexuality that can disrupt a sex life.
Sex therapy helps individuals and couples feel safe to explore their sexual ideas and identity to resolve their concerns and develop the loving and intimate relationship they require. Unfortunately, many individuals feel shame and stigma discussing their sexual concerns and don’t seek help. Our therapists are very comfortable talking about all aspects of your sexual life, sexual questions and sexual concerns. We work with both genders. Most people’s issues ultimately stem from inaccurate, incorrect, or distorted beliefs and ideas about sex. These can lead to a multitude of problems for men and women and ultimately the couple.
Before seeking therapy, it is important to see your medical doctor and get blood tests and evaluation to rule out any biological issues. These include also things such as being overweight, having high blood pressure and poor cardiovascular health. Sex is a physical activity that does require one to be in a reasonably good shape.
Men’s Sexual Dysfunction
– Erectile Dysfunction in a relationship
o Not able to get an erection to have intercourse
o Able to get an erection but lose it when you attempt to penetrate for intercourse
o Able to start intercourse, but lose your erection during intercourse
o Unreliable erections
o Erections that are not hard enough for intercourse
– Low desire
– Anxiety about having sex to the point where you avoid sex
– Fear and anxiety about talking to your partner about what you want during sex
– Pain during sex and not able to share with your partner your needs
– Lack of emotional intimacy in your relationship
– Fear of pregnancy and not being able to discuss birth control methods with your partner
– Physical injuries that prevent you from having sex your preferred way but you do not know how
to discuss with your partner.
– Age-related sex issues: As men age their erections and refractory period change (time between
sex). This means they may need to develop more ways to have sex and intimacy to address their
physical changes.
– Learning to communicate more effectively with your partner about his/her needs and yours
– Addressing issues around performance
– Resolve beliefs or ideas about your sexual preferences/performance due to negative
relationships
– Fear of abandonment that affects your ability to be close and have sex
Women’s Sexual Dysfunction
– Vaginismus
o Not being able to set boundaries around when you want sex can lead to vaginismus.
o Anticipating pain during sex
o Fear of communicating your needs or preferences or not knowing what they are
– Fear of sex in general
– Low sexual desire
– Not wanting sex
– Trauma around sex from past experiences or relationships
– Arranged marriage and not able to have sex
– Post-child-birth
o Low desire
o Not happy with your body
o Not knowing who you are
o Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting
o Feeling abandoned by your partner post the birth of your child
o Fear of pain during sex
o Feeling like your body is not yours
– Not comfortable with sexual desire and preferences nor able to communicate that to your
partner
– Feeling disconnected from your body when it comes to sex
– Not wanting to initiate sex with your partner
– Do not feel emotionally connected to your partner and not able to get him to understand this is
a requirement for you to have sex
– Physical injury that changes your sexual desire or positions you can do
Couple Sexual Dysfunction
– Sexual desire mismatch, cannot agree on frequency
– Not able to sync up when you want to have sex
– An imbalance in who initiates sex
– Sexual priorities are not discussed or aligned, ie no agreement on how important sex is to
relationship
– Unresolved relationship issues that are affecting intimacy and trust: such as
o infidelity,
o financial betrayal,
o parenting incapabilities,
o in-law issues,
o work-life balance
o autonomy issues: how much time together/apart
o no agreement on how to emotionally connect
– No alignment on the type of sex the couple wants
– Difficulties talking about sexual issues and preferences
All in the Family Counselling Centre PTE Ltd. helps couples and individuals navigate their sexuality, sexual desire, and preferences. We develop highly customized and specialized treatments for those seeking help in a warm and supportive environment. Contact us now to learn how we can help you +6590307239 via WhatsApp or email us at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com.