Do you have an incompatible sex drive with your spouse? Do you have a high sex drive and your partner has a low sex drive and this is frustrating and complicated? Do you guys struggle to align your different sex drives and have had little to no success in negotiating and talking about it? Would you like a better sex life?

Sexual incompatibility is a common challenge that can happen at any time in a couple’s relationship. Things that can affect sexual compatibility are changes in one’s life style due to increased work demands, children, health issues, aging parents who require a lot of time, the death of a friend or family member. Any of these circumstances can affect a person’s sex drive.

However, if you are having low sex drive/high sex drive issues that have arisen, where none have arose before, and there are no situational factors that you can attribute to the change in one person’s sex drive, except for perhaps parenting, then this may have something to do more with the quality of your relationship and unresolved issues that neither of you know how to talk about them.

Things that can affect sex drive can often result from couple’s relationship becoming too superficial, in which couples are not discussing difficult issues that can produce high conflict. So, if you are in a relationship and the only conflict that you are having is around whether or not to have sex and sexual compatibility, this may mean your relationship has moved into a superficial place in which there are a lot of unresolved issues that need to be addressed and discussed, but they are not.

Things that affect sex drives often have to do with things about how attractive the other person finds you and this doesn’t necessarily relate to physical attraction, but relates more to how you behave as a person in a relationship.

So, people who do not keep their word, who have anger management issues, who have difficulty managing their finances, are not participating in parenting, often lose their attractiveness to their partner and the partner will no longer want to have sex with you, resulting in a low sex drive.

These are very difficult things to discuss and address with couples who have not had the skills to handle conflict and discuss these things. These are the very things that therapy with Tammy Fontana at All in the Family Counselling Centre Pvt. Ltd. help couples navigate.

Sex therapy and intimacy therapy helps people navigate the difficult life challenges that couples face, that can get in the way of having a good sex life. If you would like to learn more about how we can help you, contact us at +65 9030 7239 or email us at

All in the Family Counselling has been providing therapy for just under two decades to Singapore and Southeast Asia. Tammy Fontana, lead therapist, has extensive experience in helping people in marriages around sex and intimacy, communication, conflict, infidelity and other marriage issues. Call us to learn more now.

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