Do you often and regularly find that you are fighting with yourself? Do you feel that negative feelings of anxiety, darkness and heaviness over take you during the normal course of your day, making it hard to focus on work and be your regular kind self to people? Are you often confused by the fact that you are successful in your career and people like you, yet you feel overwhelmed by feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Do these internal battles of negative emotions and self-doubt drain your quality of life? Do you find that to block out the negative feelings and emotions you drink alcohol on regular basis and often excessively? In fact, do drink to black out?
Do you find that you may use relationships or sex to distract yourself when the loneliness and dark thoughts come? You may use a variety of dating apps to talk to people, often when you are overcome with negative feelings or lonely feelings even if you are in a relationship with a person you love. You may have random one-night stand sex after drinking or even chatting. After these events you realize how bad you feel and wish you didn’t do this, especially if you are in a long-term relationship or even married.
Do you struggle with the fact that intellectually you know that your life is fine, but no matter how much your rationalize with yourself you can’t feel better or quite the negative voices. Do you get angry with yourself because intellectually you know drinking as much as you do isn’t good for you and you need to stop, but you can’t seem to manage to. Do you get mad at yourself for having too many sexual partners or unprotected sex? You know you shouldn’t be doing things intellectually, but it doesn’t help, you keep finding yourself repeating the behavior.
If you find that you are struggling with overwhelming anxiety, dark thoughts and very harmful ways of coping, there is help for you. People with these extreme feelings of anxiety mixed with depression, low self-esteem and self-doubt and loneliness often engage in extreme behaviors. It is not because they are bad or weak willed but because they are desperate to sooth the horrible feelings they are struggling with.
I work with many such clients. Often one of the things they have in common is a childhood filled with emotionally unstable parents that resulted is sub-optimal parenting for my clients who are now adults. Many of my clients have experienced many negative life events growing up such as domestic violence, economic instability in their childhood, being sent off to boarding school at a very young or a parent with mental health issues that were severe. Many times, my clients were bullied. Some even had sexual assault or sexual abuse in their childhood or adolescence. Too often, my clients, who are struggling will minimize their experience and say it helped to make them the successful adults they are today.
My clients are all successful at their careers and come from middle to upper middle-class families. Race, class and socioeconomics do not stop people from having negative childhoods filled with emotional instability that can affect you as an adult.
If you want to stop the battle of low self-esteem, anxiety and poor interpersonal relationships, there is help, you just need to take the first step.
If you want to learn more, contact us to make an initial appointment to learn how therapy can help you in your relationship.
Email at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com
Whatsapp, phone or sms at +6590307239
We are located off Raffles Places MRT in the financial distract at 11 Collyer Quay The Arcade